By Mark Mutahi
The reason landlords with more
than one tenant feel safer than
those with just one unit is
because should one of the
tenants go berserk following a
quarrel over rent, help can come
in the form of the other
occupants! Or so I thought when
Naftaly built more rental units
and my reign as the sole tenant
came to an end. But as I soon
learnt one afternoon while
preparing to leave for the pub,
new neighbours don�t only
present new nuisance but also
new opportunities.
"Help! Help! ..." I heard a scream
coming from one of the
neighbours I was yet to meet.
Of course, before I could blindly
rush out to help, I had to
establish it was something I could
handle. Otherwise I was prepared
to go under the bed and hide
until the problem disappeared.
This I did by peering through the
window. It was then that I saw a
woman in a hooded sweatpants
suit run out of one of the new
units shouting, "Snake! Snake!
Snake!"
With these housing units yet to
get a name, this perhaps was the
chance to become a hero and
have them named after me! I did
not need more convincing and I
ran out.
"Where is it?" I asked putting on
the airs of an actor auditioning
for a superman role. The
shivering woman pointed inside
the house and I dashed in. I was
just in time to see a gecko
scampering up the wall.
"You mean that one?" I asked.
She nodded. I always knew our
education system needs
overhauling, but this was a new
low. I now totally agreed with the
teacher�s union that more
teachers needed to be hired and
perhaps mandatory school trips
to the snake park for the
students.
So beautiful
"Problem solved!" I said after
removing one of my sandals and
throwing it at the gecko, which
instantly dropped to the floor. It
was a heroic moment and also a
good time for the Kenya Wildlife
Services to revise their figures
for the local gecko population
downwards.
"Thank you so much ... am
Maureen ... we haven�t been
introduced!" she said as she
tossed her hood backwards. I
gasped. She was so beautiful she
looked like an MP�s payslip
before tax. And with looks like
hers I knew the clan would
understand if I sold the family
land to take her to Seychelles!
"And what do you do?" Maureen
went on to ask as I stood there
tongue-tied.
"I work at ... er ... er ... am a night
manager at a call centre," I lied
hoping to impress.
"Oh that�s so interesting, I used
to work at a call centre too ... we
have a lot to talk about!"
Maureen added.
I agreed regretting the lie since
it was going to be very
expensive trying to look like an
�executive�.
And even more worrying, as I
prepared to leave for the pub, I
noticed I was suddenly conscious
of my looks to the extent of
checking myself out on a spoon
since I don�t have a mirror!
The reason landlords with more
than one tenant feel safer than
those with just one unit is
because should one of the
tenants go berserk following a
quarrel over rent, help can come
in the form of the other
occupants! Or so I thought when
Naftaly built more rental units
and my reign as the sole tenant
came to an end. But as I soon
learnt one afternoon while
preparing to leave for the pub,
new neighbours don�t only
present new nuisance but also
new opportunities.
"Help! Help! ..." I heard a scream
coming from one of the
neighbours I was yet to meet.
Of course, before I could blindly
rush out to help, I had to
establish it was something I could
handle. Otherwise I was prepared
to go under the bed and hide
until the problem disappeared.
This I did by peering through the
window. It was then that I saw a
woman in a hooded sweatpants
suit run out of one of the new
units shouting, "Snake! Snake!
Snake!"
With these housing units yet to
get a name, this perhaps was the
chance to become a hero and
have them named after me! I did
not need more convincing and I
ran out.
"Where is it?" I asked putting on
the airs of an actor auditioning
for a superman role. The
shivering woman pointed inside
the house and I dashed in. I was
just in time to see a gecko
scampering up the wall.
"You mean that one?" I asked.
She nodded. I always knew our
education system needs
overhauling, but this was a new
low. I now totally agreed with the
teacher�s union that more
teachers needed to be hired and
perhaps mandatory school trips
to the snake park for the
students.
So beautiful
"Problem solved!" I said after
removing one of my sandals and
throwing it at the gecko, which
instantly dropped to the floor. It
was a heroic moment and also a
good time for the Kenya Wildlife
Services to revise their figures
for the local gecko population
downwards.
"Thank you so much ... am
Maureen ... we haven�t been
introduced!" she said as she
tossed her hood backwards. I
gasped. She was so beautiful she
looked like an MP�s payslip
before tax. And with looks like
hers I knew the clan would
understand if I sold the family
land to take her to Seychelles!
"And what do you do?" Maureen
went on to ask as I stood there
tongue-tied.
"I work at ... er ... er ... am a night
manager at a call centre," I lied
hoping to impress.
"Oh that�s so interesting, I used
to work at a call centre too ... we
have a lot to talk about!"
Maureen added.
I agreed regretting the lie since
it was going to be very
expensive trying to look like an
�executive�.
And even more worrying, as I
prepared to leave for the pub, I
noticed I was suddenly conscious
of my looks to the extent of
checking myself out on a spoon
since I don�t have a mirror!
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